


Panic

by postersonthewall



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, pining fatin, soft fatin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:28:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28666236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postersonthewall/pseuds/postersonthewall
Summary: Leah suffers a stream of never ending panic attacks in the facility post-rescue. The doctors have tried everything and come to the conclusion that Fatin may be the only person able to help calm down the distressed girl.
Relationships: Fatin Jadmani/Leah Rilke
Comments: 7
Kudos: 246





	Panic

**Author's Note:**

> hope you guys like it!!

Leah was breathing so quickly it was almost like she had stopped breathing all together. It truly felt as if she was suffocating; that the air in her room was leaking out a hole and none of it was left for her. She was panicking and there was no solace. Her mind was racing, she was wracking her brain for just a crumb of calm and couldn’t find it. She started clawing at her neck; scratching at her skin and gasping over and over for air that she couldn’t force into her lungs. The tears were flowing and sobs wracked her body so heavily that she could barely manage to make a sound. She was silently suffering as a pool of despair on the ground of the concrete room that had become her prison.

This happened everytime she woke up. It had become days of a vicious cycle of waking up, choking on the bitter taste on her own thoughts, and collapsing until a staff member shoved a large needle into her arm and she cried out. Despite the sedative however, she woke up in the same state in which she had been knocked out in. There was no break, even in her stupor she would be plagued by her thoughts; suffering. She had been subjected to 72 hours of this and most of them were spent trapped in a dream-like state with the feeling of breathlessness but without the ability to express it. There was no peace for her here. And not “here” as in the compound; “here” as in her mind. She willed for someone to get rid of it, for someone to drill a hole in her temple so she could shake her brain out of it. She’d rather be incapacitated in every aspect than left another second in this state.

There was no end to this. Even in the sterile environment of the compound she was defenseless against her thoughts. Almost her entire left eyebrow was gone now from her compulsive picking and she had scabs all over her body from scratching. Her cheeks were stale from a constant stream of tears and her eyes were so swollen they were almost constantly shut. 

Fatin wasn’t faring much better. 

Alone in her room the only thing she could think of, the only word that played on repeat in her head, was Leah. 

Leah, Leah, Leah, Leah.

Fatin couldn’t shake the worries that plagued her. When she had been informed that a quarantine order was put in place she couldn’t help but shake the feeling that Leah was in some room identical to hers, somewhere near her, and she was all alone.

On the island Fatin had become close to the girl she had previously only admired from afar with brief glances at school filled with curiosity and admiration. She had memorised Leah’s ticks, her quirks, and used to stay up late by the fire to make sure Leah was getting rest. When Leah had run into the water Fatin nearly sobbed; if it weren’t for Dot’s strength she would’ve rushed into the water herself even if it had meant dying.

Leah was gentle, and only Fatin knew the difference between gentle and fragile with Leah. Leah would do this thing, late at night on the island, where she would reach out for Fatin’s hand and slowly circle patterns on it. It made Fatin’s heart skip in a way that was comforting and yet confusing at the same time. Leah often wouldn’t stop there. Under the moonlight she would move her hand from Fatin’s hand to her side, her shoulder, her face. Soon Leah would entangle herself in Fatin’s arms and breath slowly in her sleepy way as Fatin rocked her to sleep. 

When Leah rarely laughed, Fatin wouldn’t be able to stop the smile on her face from reaching her eyes. Near the last days on the island, Leah had started reaching out to Fatin more. To lay on her lap, sit in her arms, and cuddle next to her side at night.

When the god awful shark attack happened Fatin had not run to the water like the rest, the only thing she seemed to be able to notice was Leah who looked exhausted and was covered in blood. So she had run to Leah and sat her down in her arms and held her through the chaos. Leah was nervous and Fatin could tell, so she let Leah mumble nervously into her shoulder about something to do with Nora and a camera and a pit and Fatin listened and held her close and tried to wipe off whatever dirt was on Leah’s face.

Leah, who was always eager to share her voice, didn’t end up telling the others what had happened. In fact, she had stayed quietly crying in Fatin’s arms for hours after the shark incident had ended. It was by the firelight when Rachel was resting and the girls were talking that Nora confessed what she knew to the group, and what she had done to Leah. Leah said nothing, just held herself closer to Fatin and buried her face in her shoulder. It took until the next afternoon for rescue to come and Fatin had not let go of Leah who continued to cling on even in her sleep. 

Just as Fatin started to pace her room for the day to worry about Leah, the door opened and entered the doctor whose name Fatin refused to learn.

“Fatin we’re going to need you for something.” Fatin scoffed at his words.

“Yea it seems like you always fucking need me huh? Always for this for that and pointless questions with no fucking answers fuck can I just get a moment to myself?” Fatin was furious and was very close to throwing a couple punches she knew she didn't have the strength to land.

“It’s Leah. She uh, is having a tough time and we think you could help. She’s requested you.”

Fatin stood in shock across from the doctor. Something was wrong with Leah. Her heart dropped and her throat was dry. It sounded like they would let her see her. 

It took very little after that for Fatin to cooperate. She was briefed by the other staff what the rules were and what needed to happen; how Leah had been suffering from a lengthy panicked episode and the sedatives weren’t working. Hearing the mention of sedatives made Fatin beyond angry. They didn’t understand Leah in the slightest. They didn’t get that what she needed wasn’t to be knocked out but what she needed was comfort, and love, and compassion. She tried not to lash out in fear they wouldn’t let her see her, and instead Fatin swallowed her pride. 

When Fatin entered the room she saw Leah curled up on her bed shaking and sobbing in a way she had never seen her do so on the island. This was very bad. Without waiting for permission, or even glancing in their direction, Fatin leaped to the bed and crawled in under the covers. With the feeling of another person so close to her Leah freaked out and began to panic more.

“Leah honey, hey it’s me, it’s Fatin. It’s alright babe look at me yea?”

Fatin placed her hands gently on Leah’s face and tried to get her to look up at her. Fatin’s voice seemed to help but Leah was unconvinced and was still panicking. Fatin planted gentle kisses on Leah’s eyelids and continued to whisper words of encouragement.

“You’re doing so well Leah, you’re doing good okay? It’s alright, you’re okay.”

Leah slowly opened her eyes to see Fatin’s concerned face with knitted eyebrows and immediately let out a shaky breath of relief.   
“Fuck it’s really you.” Leah could hardly say these words. 

Fatin nodded and moved her fingers up to Leah’s eyebrow to soothe the raw skin that was there. Leah closed her eyes and leaned into Fatin’s touch, allowing herself to melt into Fatin’s body.

They stayed like this for a while, Fatin’s arms around Leah, slowly talking the other girl down and rubbing soothing patterns on her back, drumming her memorized music on Leah’s hands. Leah slowly calmed until she reached a state of almost sleep in Fatin’s arms, breathing normally and as calmly as she could. 

The doctors surrounding the two girls slowly began to realize that this was going to have to be a permanent solution given that the mere suggestion of separating the girls again had Leah heaving and sobbing even harder than before, clinging hard to a desperate Fatin trying to calm her down.

They were soon left alone for the night. Not truly alone, the cameras were still constantly monitoring them but at least they were together. Leah had now calmed completely and was snuggled into Fatin’s chest while Fatin soothed her with calming words and soft touches. They remained in silence for a bit, simply just relishing in each other's touches. 

After a short while, Fatin was convinced the girl in her arms had fallen asleep. Leah hadn’t talked for nearly an hour and her breathing was steady. Fatin slowly pressed a kiss to Leah’s forehead. She was going to follow it up with another one when the girl in her arms stirred and Leah looked up at her with wide eyes. Just as Fatin was starting to form a sentence of explanation, Leah slowly brought her hand up to Fatin’s cheek and moved in closer, pressing their foreheads together. 

“Fatin?’

Fatin was holding her breath,

“Mhm?”

“Fatin I really want to kiss you.” Leah had almost whined it, biting her bottom lip looking up nervously at Fatin.

Fatin took in a breath and her heart fluttered. In truth, Fatin had always had an affinity for Leah, the girl who sat two rows ahead of her in English class and who she could always catch eating her lunch in the quad basking in the sunlight. She was always fascinated with the beautiful brunette who wore this charming yellow cardigan and who nervously made her way through the halls daily.

In fear of breaking her, Fatin slowly and delicately brought her lips to Leah’s, connecting them in a way they had never tried before. They stayed like this for a while, gently kissing each other, allowing each other to softly move their hands up and down each other's bodies in the dark.

Neither girls knew where they would go from here, but that night they found solace and peace in each other’s touch.


End file.
